my mistake this time

things were going fine with Dan, he was interested in me and contacting me first. then i blew it. brought up sex and how we had to be exclusive to have it. he freaked out. and said he needed down time, no dating. i said iw as disappionted and explained dating shouldbe a progression tos oemthing. then he says he wants me in his life to do things now and then but with no expectations. mellow. he isn't ready to be exclusive so soon. but doesn't want it to be all or nothing. now i have to just admit i messed up. and wait for him to contact me next. it might be a while. thing is i would like to sleep with him. i am sure it will be good.but i dont' want to cheapen myself in the process. and don't want him to be sleeping with other women at the same time. not too much to ask is it?

cleared the air

we emailed for about 3 hours the other night and i got to ask him all of these questions. I will summarize it later. but at the end of the day he is in a relationship with her and does not think we should  even run together as friends (not possible). I have to respect that but I hope it doesn't work with her. We shall see.

but i have already had one date and have two more lined up so I feel better.

about steve

I am posting here because these are things I'd like to ask Steve but can't.

i'd like to know if you slept with her and that is what made the relationship "materialize so quickly" if so, you are the only guy I have met in a while who thinks that way. makes it worse for me that you are such a stand up guy. she is lucky.
I'd like to know, if you didn't sleep with her, what the rush is? why be in a relationship so soon?
I'd like to know, if you didn't sleep with her, who wanted to be exclusive, her or you? and why?
i'd like to know if you discussed with anyone, like your siblings, because I am sure they would advise you not to rush into a relationship so quickly after starting to date again.
i'd like to know that making a committment after 6 weeks of dating is the express lane.
i'd like to know if she was a flex match or not. probably not.
i'd like to know if she knows about me.
i'd like to know if you really will call me if it doesn't work out.
i'd like to know how you can wish that timing and circumstances were different but continue ahead on this other path. I guess that just means you wish you hadn't hurt me. not that you wish you were with me. because you could be.
i'd like to know that you don't think negatively about me for the drawn out discussion here.
I'd like to know that I would really like to see you again but know it's not good for me or your relationship.
i'd like to know if I can ever change my mind ...
i'd like to know if you will ever change your mind...


I'd like you to know that I half wish you the best and I half am praying for it not to work out. does that make me a terrible person?
I'd like you to know that I am not delusional and am not carying on here because I am convinced that were are soul mates or something. I really just wanted a fair chance to let you see who I am.
I'd like you to know that I think it is admirable how patient you are and willing to engage with me on this. It's because you are good communicator. It's why I enjoyed spending time with you. You are easy to talk to. probably also you feel bad for hurting me.
I'd like you to know that i will be fine.
I'd like you to know that i will stop contacting you soon enough. it takes me a while.